OF ALL THE THINGS I'VE LOST, I MISS MY MIND THE MOST

destiny

2012-01-17T12:11:00.001-05:00

gone for good

2012-01-16T12:41:00.000-05:00

oh, how I need a hand in mine to feel.

rest in peace bk.

reap what you sow

2011-10-02T20:53:00.000-04:00

i feel pain for someone close to me.
hate these times.

we're havin big fun

2011-09-30T00:53:00.003-04:00

whoa. its been a while since i've seen you smile. credz:ween
i'm on serious double duty. full time mom + full time job=no free time.
i've found these quiet moments while the house is at rest, to have a little fun for myself.

i always really loved this cut.
for the message, yes.
for the succulent beats, yes.

well, the dirty cloth diapers i was washing seem to be done.
and word on the street is, they don't fold themselves.
##momlife

its your time

2011-08-26T13:35:00.001-04:00

its the freakin weekend!!

hang ten

2011-08-13T16:28:00.001-04:00

gonna get back to the swing of things....

promise

2011-08-10T15:22:00.001-04:00

totally one of my all time favorite cuts.

napoleon dynamite was cool. but when this song came on, it was 1 billion times cooler.

it ain't hard to tell

2011-08-09T02:13:00.000-04:00

head is spinning. so much work. can't complain. life is good.

little girl

2011-08-02T10:04:00.001-04:00

life is so busy right now.
baby. moving. new beginnings rising.

atmosphere

2011-07-01T11:47:00.002-04:00

i'm kinda blue.
i am missing my family.
i wish i was closer to them.
i wish my dad wasn't such a jerk.
i want to be stronger.
josh sent me a mix my first year at yale.
this was track 8 on a two part mix.
i listen to this cd every time i want to feel something...
its really quite melancholy.

farewell ride

2011-06-28T23:20:00.001-04:00

i have been without sleep

2011-06-27T23:40:00.001-04:00

dear , sweet, baby...
she's here!
MAYA VALENTINE!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!
!!!!!
!!!!
!!

no alarms and no surprises

2011-06-18T01:15:00.000-04:00

i couldn't have said it better myself.

the door test, kid, thats what counts

2011-06-12T22:31:00.005-04:00

have you ever watched A Bronx Tale? its quite possibly one of favorites. i thought about that scene with calogero & sonny, where sonny explains the door test....

"Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her."

"Just like that?"

"Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast."

then i think about how after seeing this movie, i made a conscious effort to apply this rule to everyone i dated and everyone who would date me. as funny as this sounds, its been really awesome advice. & wouldn't it be something to know that this same advice would somehow mean something to my little girl one day.

i believe when i fall in love this time, it will be forever

2011-06-12T12:15:00.000-04:00

i'm wide awake, its morning

2011-06-04T16:13:00.005-04:00

whats a pregnant lady to do with her weekend time??

TYE DYE baby onesies, of course.

SO OOOO oooo OO o
RAD.

you're on your own now, we won't save you.

2011-06-03T22:49:00.002-04:00

i can recall,
heading to ford city mall
to buy this cd

we used to wait

2011-05-29T16:33:00.004-04:00

watching the boys become men.
the girls welcome motherhood.
seeing people all around me reach a new chapter in their life.

have i told ya you could really get it on?

2011-05-20T18:24:00.003-04:00

oh, july! what differences you will bring :)

anything by raquel allegra. this one is mine.

pencey driving me crazy with this beaut. so me, so can't wait to wear it all around town.

need something comfortable to chase a wee one around. these are just my style

love these wayuu taya foundation bags. such beautiful colors, craftsmenship and a wonderful contribution. every bag you buy goes to help the non for profit, to help improve the lives of latin american indigenous communities.

via shopbop.urbanbushesbabes.swaggerjunky.

wake up

2011-05-18T13:08:00.001-04:00

this song reminds me of last year.

mad world

2011-05-18T01:00:00.001-04:00

YO

LA

TENGO

!
!
!

in loving memory.

2011-05-17T08:18:00.003-04:00

intrinsic.

thanks ike.

must be a devil between us

2011-05-17T05:00:00.000-04:00

i believe it was junior high the first time i heard the pixies. the nineties, man. but i'm an old soul.

the pixies remain one of my favorite groups.
its music of my formative years.
music you pass on to people you care about.
MUPOTPUCA.
jesus christ.

now i wanna be your dog

2011-05-16T17:36:00.003-04:00

this belongs on a mix for your sweetie.

my golden rule:
a good mix includes at least one "oldie"

love the keyboard break-it-down at the end by white suit boy and he's pretty darn cute too!!

gamma ray

2011-05-15T09:56:00.003-04:00

what do you get when you bust your ass for three years...

a. very little sleep. mostly 1 or 2 hour naps, scattered daily.
b. a bunch of grey hair & an addiction to caffeine
c. a pathetic social life
d. all of the above, plus a motherfucking graduate degree from YALE !!!!!!!!

if you answered D, you are correct.

turned in my thesis friday after 48 hours of no sleep...don't worry, no babies were harmed during this process. presented the thesis to over nine faculty members, answered a slew of questions, bit my nails down to a painfully short level, had quite a few moments of emotional breakdowns...this is serious business folks! yale, is notorious for not graduating quite a few designers each year....
they loved it. ! my heart is full and swimming . its feels so fucking great.
next stop, graduation!
woot.

last call

2011-05-08T05:40:00.001-04:00

5 d-a-z-e

this is a new day

2011-05-06T01:09:00.002-04:00

headed to nyc garment district tomorrow to swatch these fuck'n costumessssssss......

today marks ONE WEEK.
countdown in effect.

oy. oy. oy. !!

vey.

breaking the girl

2011-05-03T14:09:00.000-04:00

10 days.

summer 68

2011-04-28T04:33:00.001-04:00

my super sweet sixteen days!!

pendulum

2011-04-26T09:00:00.000-04:00

i once put this cut on a mix i made in honor of a 5 year reunion with an old friend.

this was post silence of the lambs. but i wasn't trying to be creepy. it was a scattered mix of emotions. our relationship was one in which i consider the most volatile.

sunday morning come down

2011-04-25T23:22:00.002-04:00

creepstreet usa.

you must be losing your mind

2011-04-25T02:03:00.000-04:00

ooo, baby when you cry, your face is momentary

2011-04-23T17:20:00.002-04:00

you ever wonder what someone was thinking when they put a song for you on a mixtape?
i once had a boy make me a mixtape with this misfits cut on it.
i practiced skateboarding to this mix all summer long.

i remember he drew me pictures of all the bands logos on the mix.
the anal cunt one was the funniest.

make love

2011-04-22T17:45:00.001-04:00

drawing my guts out.
>

long may you run

2011-04-22T15:46:00.003-04:00

what a neat piece....

.

by brook&lyn/via shopbop. anything with a stone in it is going to have my vote...i'm very embarrassed to admit what a crystal/stone loving freak i am. i had a serious problem back in the early 2000's, and i have quite the collection even now which i sincerely believe still have the ability to bring healing powers. i know, i know..hippie.
well, anyway, this piece is unique and think about all the ways it would jazz up your simple summer frock. i obviously will not be donnin this beaut with my big prego self, but i can imagine the possibilities in july after my sweet babycakes is here & all we have to do is have fun in the sun!!

two.

2011-04-19T17:43:00.003-04:00

resting in peace, my dearest.

i should go see you in June

2011-04-16T00:18:00.007-04:00

i'm in thesis.
hell.

t minus 28 days.

where has all the good music gone?

i can't wait to make mixtapes of my youth for maya....

& she knows
she knows..
she knows....

i listened to the smashing pumpkins during a very beautiful moment of my life.

i imagine my daughter in tall green grass exploring on her own for the first time during her teenage years:

falling in love.
a diary.
keeping secrets.
best friends forever.
her first purse.
feeling pretty with lipstick on.
finding a favorite band.
going to her first concert.
shopping.
jeans with skirts on top.
all the things you encounter with pure, unadulterated innocence.
i'm going to try, in fact, i pledge to preserve this moment in her life as long as i can for her.
no need to grow up so fast...
it all moves too fast later on...
best to enjoy getting there, my sweet little girl.

can I take you to a restaurant that's got glass tables

2011-04-10T17:26:00.001-04:00

close call.

shiny happy people

2011-04-07T17:44:00.005-04:00

oh, sweet anthropologie catalog that i just received in my mailbox last night......
how adorable are your retro-fitted swim suit spreads ?
this catalog is totally worth a pick up-
lots of inspiration for summer....
dream. dream. dream...
for warmer days
i think summer's calling my name...

& i'll take one of these to cover up for dinners and strolls later on that night

we're on the road to nowhere

2011-04-06T14:16:00.003-04:00

i can't remember the person who first put me on to shuggie otis...i do remember it was in my early tower records days.
i smoked so much weed to this song.

most beauty i've seen, you come from a dream

2011-04-02T17:31:00.004-04:00

you loved ween from your tape deck radio
as you drove home from college-
back in 02'
fifty mini thins digested,
calling me from the isolated road
sometimes in winter-
winters that remind me of a lost friend.

I'll begin again with another new name, and a whole new life, full of fortune and fame

2011-04-02T02:20:00.003-04:00

sorry...
its been a while.
life catches you off guard from time to time...
40 days till thesis.
50 till graduation.
i have to make the most of this blog while i still can.

yah, this band pretty much rules.

Now I don’t know where I am; I don’t know where I’ve been; But I know where I want to go

2011-03-18T15:40:00.005-04:00

its my birthday today. i usually take some time to reflect over the past years events and my goals for the next one.
i can't believe how important this birthday will be for me. my first birthday as a mother, as a yale graduate, as a woman with complete and utter happiness.
today is my birthday, but i bought my daughter this really awesome gift. i hope she likes it one day when she's old enough.

thats the thing about motherhood. if it had been last year, i would have made some frivolous purchase for myself...and now, i don't want or need a thing at all! i have everything i could ever want.

its a rocking horse by disguincio from italy. it really is the coolest thing i've ever seen! i can't wait to give it to her.

so happy birthday to me. the best one. ever.

goodbye stranger

2011-03-16T22:42:00.002-04:00

craving spring like something awful.....

Rod Stewart - Young Turks by vmedina27

lou weed

2011-03-16T03:21:00.001-04:00

what i want now!!!!

via free people

baptism

2011-03-15T16:30:00.000-04:00

my best friend in sixth grade's
older sister, candice...
made me freestyle mixtapes.
that i would fill my ears with,
on my way to ford city mall

if i could choose a place to die; it would be in your arms

2011-03-15T04:12:00.000-04:00

strange overtones

2011-03-10T10:56:00.006-05:00

i have neglected you, dear, public, very public- blog. well, for good reason. i am busy completing my thesis for graduate school. this song and this post allows me a moment to reflect. i began this blog during my 2nd semester of my 1st year at Yale. i wanted it to be a diary of some sorts to keep friends and family posted on what was going on or what the hell i was thinking all those times i would sequester myself in my studio for weeks on end. i failed to return calls, neglected my long distance boyfriend, my friends, my family back home- ultimately, worrying and pissing off quite a few close people- but, i was focused...and isn't that what they wanted from me?
i made a commitment to do something for myself that i had deeply wanted to do for some time. i always knew that after undergrad i would return for my graduate degree-and when the time came in 2008, i had the fullest intentions to do it right.
somehow i was forgiven, even when at the time, all seemed lost between some relationships, sometimes even those that were the most precious to me. i found myself, i figured out balance for the first time in my life. how to be a better person - how to enjoy life just a little bit more. i am standing now realizing this very, cosmic thing and as my thesis due date rapidly approaches, i can not help to overview my emotions and memories of these past three years upon entering Yale-and what the future holds after.

in may 2011, i will graduate from yale university with my masters degree and while that thrills me more than i can describe, in june 2011 i will be a mother too. josh & i will welcome our first child. so, you see, this really is an amazing three years- i really have grown. i truly have the most precious and incredible life that anyone can ask for and i can't wait to keep going.
here's to 2011 & beyond, to my truest partner & friend, josh, what haven't we conquered....
to my future daughter, i will love you everyday, every hour, every minute- i can not wait to meet you and tell you in person just how amazing you are & how lucky you make me feel to be your mother.

thanks for reading all these years, many of you i know personally and some of you, have found me along the way, which is awesome! look out in 2011 for some new exciting projects i have in the works that will involve children..hey, why not? i will be qualified by then ;)
a new blog
updated costume website
career mobility
& even a big move to a new city for me, josh & the baby love!!!

a friend of the devil is a friend of mine

2011-02-22T01:04:00.000-05:00

high school daze......

something in the way

2011-02-20T16:05:00.001-05:00

happy birthday, beautiful.

i'd say its a sight worth seeing...

2011-02-19T01:48:00.004-05:00

lets pretend its summer..

jens pirate booty//via revolve

cynthia vincent//via shopbop

i'm feelin you

2011-02-16T02:17:00.004-05:00

so, we meet again.

yes, i have a torrid love affair with all nighters.
but it don't matta' when you have some good tunes......
keep me goin strong drawin all night long.

DETROIT BEATDOWN///RA PODCAST

lucky for you, i learned how to share.

resident advisor podcast, 10.04.10.detroit beatdown. get your workload under control to some sweet detroit house & high five me later.

new star in the sky

2011-02-13T16:46:00.002-05:00

3.57 minutes of complete happiness

i see years of pride tomorrow

2011-02-07T21:41:00.005-05:00

So can you understand?
Why I want a daughter while I'm still young
I wanna hold her hand
And show her some beauty
Before this damage is done

there's a calm before the storm

2011-02-05T19:45:00.003-05:00

tip of the day:

idiot

2011-02-01T21:36:00.002-05:00

everybody must get stoned.

this is showtime

2011-02-01T14:06:00.003-05:00

we open thursday.

if a man is 5, then the devil is 6

2011-01-22T00:06:00.002-05:00

??????????

fall for you

2011-01-20T06:19:00.001-05:00

a man is real, not made of steel

2011-01-19T22:30:00.003-05:00

TWO DAYS TILL TECH...
AND HERE'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN ASKING FOR...

THE WORLD'S FINEST....
NONE
OTHER
THAN.....

DEVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

& how very blessed we are...
start you off with a little GIRL YOU WANT
AND A FINALE
OF THE GREAT,
GATES OF STEEL

!!!!!!!!!

gettin over

2011-01-18T03:06:00.000-05:00

lets go....

to bed.

boardwalk empire

2011-01-17T21:45:00.006-05:00

i have never watched this show...but being that i am a costume designer, i really should....

people have been blowing up my ear and it actually seems really great. maybe this should be on my netflix queue.....

well, the really interesting thing about this show is, of course, the ASSUMABLY rad 20s/30s fashions-
but what really peeks my interest is the opening credits.

if you listen closely, its a little favorite of mine.
yup, its the brian jonestown massacre.
oh, and martin scorsese directs.....need i hesitate???
i say ,nay..

wanna grow up to be a debaser

2011-01-17T13:38:00.000-05:00

before no doubt ruined all of our lives with their cover of this gem...

there was the real thing.

talk talk

& what a seriously bizarre video this is.

lets pretend its summer

2011-01-17T05:55:00.001-05:00

take drugs to make music to take drugs to
only one of my favs of all time.
bjm.
xoxo -anton!! you crazy sob.

as far as i'd seen life was endless

2011-01-16T14:00:00.001-05:00

i remember being just a wee lad seeing this video on much music...
does anyone remember that show?
it was like the canadian equivalent to mtv, but much cooler, and i am talking about mtv before the days of sixteen & pregnant and katy perry videos.

killer cut. of course.

i want your love

2011-01-16T10:46:00.002-05:00

how freakin rich is this?
charles weldon...
one of the astounding actors in the upcoming show i'm designing...
is not only an actor...
but had a number one hit in a doo-wop group of the 50s.

you know this is music for your soul. so good and makes me wish i was around in these times-
he's the one standing on right, center body facing camera.....
and if you are wondering, thats him singing lead.
which is perfect because he sings a few in our play too!!!
so stoked!

take me home

2011-01-16T00:53:00.001-05:00

its music like this that keeps me going
just a few more months on the east coast....
and then, i'm surfing, beachin and livin up the west coast.

its gonna be like 1970..
all the time.

FUTURE DAYS

2011-01-15T01:10:00.001-05:00

sweet jesus//

CAN!

1 WEEK TO TECH.
2.5 TO OPENING DAY.
GIVE ME STRENGTH...

given the chance i'd die like a baby

2011-01-15T00:59:00.004-05:00

i'm far too old to get annoyed...
mostly just flattered that some less fortunate souls feel the need to be something they are not.
you are not me. nor the other people you attempt to emulate.
gee whiz, get a life of your own and live it.

we used to be friends

2011-01-02T05:06:00.001-05:00

one of my favorite things....
ladies & gentlemen
************THE DANDY WARHOLS*****************

Hear me out, for I was joyful once
Like everyone
Hear me out, I must have changed
Sometime and all at once
Cos it seems
That nothing stays the same as certainly as me
And nothing stays the same but me

Well I have toiled and I have tamed
Constricted and constrained
Just to learn about how everyone is sane
Well I am old and I am lame
And ruthlessly estranged
Ask me then what I have gained from almost everyone, oh-oh

Hear me out, for I have everything in deep
Hear me out, I must have changed

Well I have toiled and I have tamed
Constricted and constrained
Just to learn about how everyone is totally insane, now
Well I am old and I am lame
And ruthlessly estranged
Ask me then what I have gained from almost everyone, oh-oh

Hear me out, for I was joyful once
Like everyone
Hear me out, I must have changed

mrs. robinson

2011-01-02T00:20:00.002-05:00

strange things will happen

2011-01-01T18:59:00.003-05:00

happy 2011
!!!

i already know how this year will be one of good fortune.
its incredible what i have to look forward to.

let 2011 be your year too.

chuck berry is rock n' roll

2010-12-29T23:47:00.003-05:00

1999 was all about this shizzzzzz

I know your best is still your worst

2010-12-29T14:55:00.001-05:00

"anything you're good at contributes to happiness." -Bertrand Russell

to die by your side; is such a heavenly way to die

2010-12-24T12:30:00.002-05:00

its a white christmas! at least it is here in chicago.
i am happy and fortunate to spend the holidays with those people who mean most to me.
i really am so blessed---
and i have great, big news...to come in the new year.

happy holidays my friends. this song means much to me recently, and i hope you enjoy as well.

enjoy the silence

2010-12-15T20:58:00.001-05:00

2 days left & chicago vacation here we come!

closer

2010-12-08T01:13:00.001-05:00

everybody knows this is nowhere

2010-11-26T23:34:00.000-05:00

i really love these boots by giuseppe zanotti
i know they are a bit much,
but rock n' roll.

images via:
jodacheturnitup.blogspot.com
&
mycolorfashion.com

i can see clearly now

2010-11-25T14:06:00.005-05:00

happy thanksgiving!

i am thankful for true love. my family. friends. good health.
all the new things that will join us 2011 ;)
love to you all.

that boy needs therapy

2010-11-15T04:25:00.003-05:00

blast from the past

all nighter madness

woe is me.

this hour is for the dreamers

2010-11-11T02:25:00.001-05:00

betcha love can make you better

2010-11-10T22:25:00.003-05:00

trying to drink away the part of the day that i cannot sleep away

2010-11-09T17:00:00.002-05:00

let me understand your plan

here comes sickness

2010-11-08T00:28:00.000-05:00

all things go

2010-11-06T20:32:00.002-04:00

workin. workin. workin. workin.
so hard.
gotta meet my deadline and its driving me insane.
he prefers the acoustic version,
but i really don't care what he prefers....

i was in love with the place
in my mind
in my mind
i made a lot of mistakes
in my mind
in my mind.....

she runs so she'll be free

2010-11-01T12:12:00.002-04:00

something's bound to go wrong

2010-10-27T23:06:00.001-04:00

the future was wide open

2010-10-26T10:44:00.004-04:00

this song makes me misty eyed.
you have no idea how often i listened to tom petty in high school-
strange, huh?
don't really know how i got into him-
but his lyrics rang true...the music was good...
it gave me hope.
tom petty was a curious dude,
curiouser and curiouser....

ct>

do you want to know a secret

2010-10-22T19:27:00.002-04:00

jfk to ord

this weekend,,,

no way/ no how /do we ever forget what we seen

2010-10-17T18:22:00.004-04:00

when i was younger, i never noticed just how many people you lose ...
like instantly.
you wake up and they're gone.
all kinds of people, those who you are close to, and then those you want to be close to. those that have such an impact on your growth, completely unknown by them. little do they know, how they pick you up, inspire you, push you, entertain you or simply, help you relate, help you grown into the person you want to become.
anyone who knows me well, knows that i love music. i love all kinds of music, which pretty much began when i got a job at tower records back in my senior year of high school. oh god, was that long ago..! ha, anyway, i immersed myself in all sorts of records, i'd have long conversations with the jazz buyer, the world buyer, stock cds and cop something because the cover struck a chord. spent my whole paycheck at times on music. music filled my soul-it still does. i can tell you that certain songs define a moment in my life- and there is no way you can tell me that its not the perfect accompaniment. i worked there for four years- throughout college as well. i would take the long walks home at night, after closing the store at midnight, and walk down clark street north to belmont- filling my massive headphones with all kinds of mixes i would burn for myself.
back in those days, i was obsessed with underground hip hop..the backpacker hip hop, they would call it. i would head out to metro on weekends and watch my favorites perform. i remember the time i met eyedea. he was just about one of the most approachable people in the world. its sad to learn, that he has passed away.

its been a long time since i've pulled out my 200 plus cd book of hip hop- these are the days of ipods and shuffles and pandora- and the chance that something like this comes up, man, you have to be looking for it. and thats just the thing, this music was good for my soul, my nineteen year old soul-and how it helped me-in more ways than i can ever explain to you... but how good is this? how great was this album on early winter mornings heading to 8am class at depaul, completely stoned. don't really know exactly how he passed away, but its tragic nonetheless.... ahh, this takes me back - rest in peace, michael. 28 years old.1/2 of eyedea & abilities duo, a pivotal force in rhymesayers fam & underground hip hop, you & your talent will be missed.

i was the one worth leaving

2010-10-16T17:26:00.001-04:00

let's talk about spaceships

2010-10-14T14:08:00.003-04:00

love sick , they say
guess i've been there too.
you feel years of your life slip
and its a cold place when you get to the bottom of the bottle

but are you bouncing?
jumping now-from cloud to sun.
a place that doesn't hurt you anymore.

i'm feelin you

2010-10-14T00:23:00.003-04:00

my good friend is getting hitched next weekend. i was in panic mode trying to find a dress, while designing a show with a director who has a very busy schedule, finishing grad school, etc. etc. etc.
enter, winter kate.
i absolutely love this line created by the lovely, nicole richie. goddamn, has she come a long way from her days of tramping it up with paris hilton... (who?) it just shows, how trucker hats were all the rage in 2002-03 and well, now, if you wear one, well, let's just hope you don't go there anymore...
winter kate offers a collection of velvet, chiffon & laced bohemian variety. i love flowy, majestic, bohemian, rock n roll anything...and am very tempted to wear one of her other dresses from the fall collection that i purchased. (see below) however, i seized the opportunity to scoop this hot little ticket as well. and for only $165, this dress is not breakin the bank at all. i will wear this tons, to openings, dates, and some crazy nights out on the town.

nicole modeling her own design! so cute!

ok, so now, my not so economical purchase. & just so you can see the range, and why i am so into this line, i will share with you another dress i purchased by winter kate.

it's burnt out velvet...!probably the coolest type of fabric in the world. the feel of this is butter and i adore the golds and purples that morph colors on each sway. but at $395- its not exactly a steal. however, i was willing to make a sacrifice for something truly unique. so, not really certain at this point which will be the dress for the wedding, but i'll try to post a picture or two of the wedding and my time in chicago next weekend! can't wait!!
now if only i could find a pair of shoes!

but never guess how the him would scream

2010-10-13T13:48:00.000-04:00

back to this

2010-10-12T22:45:00.005-04:00

oh, how i covet thee.... ELEY KISHIMOTO Iphone case for incase!!!!! !!'
gagagagaggaaaaaah droollly mcgooersons

not so much the mac case because i already own the most coolest case for my mac in the whole wide world...

designed by no other than KAWS!! BABY BABAY...for arkitip magazine- oooolala, one of my favorites!

but the iphone case is killer! dare i say , i actually really dig the pink one!

pretty sure this spells
PRESENT!

& it is true what you said that i live like a hermit in my own head

2010-10-12T18:28:00.007-04:00

i experienced, from what i can gather,
somewhat of an epiphany this afternoon.
i've been carrying some excess baggage around with me.
don't know why-
maybe because i wanted to feel something. maybe i wanted to torture myself; stifle a part of me- almost like a scapegoat, if things didn't work as planned. if i held on to the painful past, i could always find a reason not to blame myself.
i'm sick of feeling like this- of not being in control of my own goddamn life.
if i've learned anything in this lifetime, i know that i've endured too much, worked too hard, experienced love like the movies, dream come true moments, lost the friendship & guidance of many important people in my life, to let this pain-this insignificant anger- this uncontrollable emotion get in the way - make me insecure and doubt all the beauty that this world offers. if i allow myself to wake ,even one more morning ,and not fucking kiss this earth that i should be so grateful that i stand on, i'm scared that these demons that i've carried for too long will take over my ability to make good decisions-decisions that my life & ultimate happiness depend on.
i spoke with a friend today who told me that he's content. that he realized that happiness is a fleeting feeling-but if we strive to be content, we live our life with purpose- fuck, don't let feelings control you, emotions, they come & go - whats the fucking point? i'll constantly be paddling against the current. but if only i can be content- will i win...i live life with such vigor that i never regret a single thing because unfortunately, just as your emotions are, life is fleeting------
so i have to write it here, my very public diary, so all of you, whoever you are, whoever i am, when i walk out of here, may 2011, can look back and i be held to something powerful. pinned down to a decision-and track my progress. remember these three years for everything they were & everything i want them to be, and consider this just another incredibly fortunate experience..an experience that i made happen on my own. i did this. i wanted this. so, i am going to let myself win..ME,!.... I win. I WIN AT THIS. THIS LIFETIME. not you,
ever.

If I could open my arms
And span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are
Making a lake of the East River and Hudson
If I could open my mouth
Wide enough for a marching band to march out
They would make your name sing
And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings.

I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view
If you were never aware of what was around you
And it is true what you said
That I live like a hermit in my own head
But when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

Your love is gonna drown
Your love is gonna...

farewell

2010-10-12T10:08:00.000-04:00

why didn't she realize how beautiful she was?
i'll never understand suicide.

one good minute will last me a whole year

2010-10-11T02:53:00.001-04:00

REST IN PEACE
L

sleep like a pillow downward

2010-10-10T03:56:00.006-04:00

MY BLOODY VALENTINE
Loveless

an insanely good album.
if you don't possess- let me know & i'll pass it your way.
why?
because i care..
and...
i don't want you listening to crap music.. like... i dunno...linkin park, etc. etc. etc.

what i really adore about this album is the through line of a musical seascape of fleshy drums, vocals that replicate morphine and distorted chords-often the lyrics are discernible, and you know thats fine by me...i enjoy the take away.

day dreams color from shadows

2010-10-09T14:00:00.000-04:00

i got a friend
a little guy i see with spoon
he's got so many problems
sweeping under carpets catches up with you, don't it?
and i told you, over coffee,
gonna catch you.
she will catch you, if she can.
she gonna caccccccccccccccccccc-atch you.