OF ALL THE THINGS I'VE LOST, I MISS MY MIND THE MOST: April 2012

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

but i'm gunna feel this way till i'm six feet underground

opening one show today and feeling pretty good about it. can't say it was an easy undertaking. (it was my very first musical!!)
i was never much of a musical kind of gal finding that people who are in to that kind of thing have a tendency to be pretty lame-0. but there is something really rejuvenating about designing a musical. you can take chances -and things can be over the top and theatrical. taking chances like the very first time you ever laid a pencil to a sketch pad...like your very first costume design. oh goodness, was i green and spirited.
as i am rapidly ending my time here on the east coast, i've been very reflective.
after this show, i enter another tech for what will be my very last east coast show for a while. its bittersweet. i know i will return to nyc often, but never to live here. never to explore it with the same reckless energy i once did. will i miss this place?
am i doomed to feel lost in the shuffle of new/old surroundings? does new york lend itself to dream and work bigger and harder than i ever had before? (if i can make it there, i'll make it anywhere...) will the absence of my theatre friends effect the quality or energy of work that i do from now on?
i'm excited to move. but maybe just excited by the prospect of change. does this new feeling fade by winter....?
at any rate, i have too much to think about and accomplish to obsess over what could be - first, i have to sit back and appreciate the effort of my hard work-opening! opening night glows and buzz for a job well done. then i have to immediately jump into the next show-still so much to do before our first tech. i'll only plan this far ahead. i'll try to be more consistent as i pack and purge. admittedly, i've acquired quite a bit out here despite living in the smallest apartment i have ever had the pleasure of renting. i will make better attempts to song blog. believe it or not, i just don't pick a song because its rad or that i'm listening to it..they very often describe for me what i am feeling.

36 days
tossing & turning