i've been listening to this on repeat all day. i have about 1 million things to do, and yet, i've been laying around in bed listening to pavement. don't really know how to explain what i'm feeling right now- are there ever any words for heart stuff?
sometimes i wish i ran off to the islands like i promised back in 01. i'd be selling flip flops, surfing, working on my tan.
but much like this tune, something just fucking drives me in other directions. well now its done & drove us into the fucking wall and we've collided and it seems like i'm never going to repair myself. why can't things just be perfect like love supposed to be? ugh, we dont have to be such superstars. i'll let you as long as you can promise to keep me happy.
we both cant win at this.
i miss summer breezes on our pilsen rooftop.
gentle morning conversations, still sleepy eyes-caressing eyebrows
songs for cats
dandy warhols on long car rides
our photobooth wall-
why cant we ever take a perfect picture like we did that one day back in 04'?
when i held your hand cus i pretended it felt cold
& you held back
at dj hell
or the time we stayed up all night before my flight
bc i wouldn't see you
for three weeks.
we hung out in my car
wasnt there a spot on a beanbag ?
but we wanted to be together so we took the long way home
sans highways
& you called me everyday that summer that i couldn't find work
and i picked up on the first ring
like i wasn't even trying to be cool.
and you surprised me didnt you?
that little note you hid
that wasn't uncovered for months.
you poured your heart out
luve or love
i couldnt tell your o's from your u's
it was a o
!!!
it was an o!!!
and i danced around my room in a striped dress
that i bought for you
cos it made me feel pretty
& i told the waitress on our date
that we were celebrating our
10 year wedding anniversary
& the closing of our new home
was it too soon?
we were only 23
who would believe it?
she brought us our salad.
and i drew for you.
almost everyday.
i made you wonderful things.
mixtapes galore.
your favorite began with psychedelic furs
and we woke up extra early on your birthday to get breakfast,
though it was my favorite thing to do.
and i held you close when you were too drunk
you showed me your tattoo on the bathroom floor.
i've only seen you cry once
best friend
& i prayed at his funeral for the first time in years
i know you died a bit that day
driving cross country
with xm radio
i was made for loving you baby
you were made for loving meeeeeeeeeee
when did you wake up
and forget these things?
ill leave them under your pillow
like a kid who places teeth
so rotten from chocolate milk.
oh
and we talked about sad bastard music for the sad bachelor
was it you
or was it me
agreeing that beck's -sea change was perfect for those nights
i smoked so much that my heart raced
i didnt tell you on the blue line
i thought i would stop working
how long did we stay awake
even though we lay in bed.
promised things were different between us-
shes just a girl,
a girl you wantttt
who's going to dance with me now?
No comments:
Post a Comment