chuck berry is rock n' roll

1999 was all about this shizzzzzz

I know your best is still your worst

"anything you're good at contributes to happiness." -Bertrand Russell

to die by your side; is such a heavenly way to die

its a white christmas! at least it is here in chicago.
i am happy and fortunate to spend the holidays with those people who mean most to me.
i really am so blessed---
and i have great, big news...to come in the new year.



happy holidays my friends. this song means much to me recently, and i hope you enjoy as well.

enjoy the silence

2 days left & chicago vacation here we come!

closer

everybody knows this is nowhere

i really love these boots by giuseppe zanotti
i know they are a bit much,
but rock n' roll.




images via:
jodacheturnitup.blogspot.com
&
mycolorfashion.com

i can see clearly now

happy thanksgiving!



i am thankful for true love. my family. friends. good health.
all the new things that will join us 2011 ;)
love to you all.

that boy needs therapy

blast from the past

all nighter madness



woe is me.

this hour is for the dreamers

betcha love can make you better

trying to drink away the part of the day that i cannot sleep away

let me understand your plan

here comes sickness

all things go

workin. workin. workin. workin.
so hard.
gotta meet my deadline and its driving me insane.
he prefers the acoustic version,
but i really don't care what he prefers....



i was in love with the place
in my mind
in my mind
i made a lot of mistakes
in my mind
in my mind.....

she runs so she'll be free

something's bound to go wrong

the future was wide open

this song makes me misty eyed.
you have no idea how often i listened to tom petty in high school-
strange, huh?
don't really know how i got into him-
but his lyrics rang true...the music was good...
it gave me hope.
tom petty was a curious dude,
curiouser and curiouser....

ct>

do you want to know a secret

jfk to ord

this weekend,,,

no way/ no how /do we ever forget what we seen

when i was younger, i never noticed just how many people you lose ...
like instantly.
you wake up and they're gone.
all kinds of people, those who you are close to, and then those you want to be close to. those that have such an impact on your growth, completely unknown by them. little do they know, how they pick you up, inspire you, push you, entertain you or simply, help you relate, help you grown into the person you want to become.
anyone who knows me well, knows that i love music. i love all kinds of music, which pretty much began when i got a job at tower records back in my senior year of high school. oh god, was that long ago..! ha, anyway, i immersed myself in all sorts of records, i'd have long conversations with the jazz buyer, the world buyer, stock cds and cop something because the cover struck a chord. spent my whole paycheck at times on music. music filled my soul-it still does. i can tell you that certain songs define a moment in my life- and there is no way you can tell me that its not the perfect accompaniment. i worked there for four years- throughout college as well. i would take the long walks home at night, after closing the store at midnight, and walk down clark street north to belmont- filling my massive headphones with all kinds of mixes i would burn for myself.
back in those days, i was obsessed with underground hip hop..the backpacker hip hop, they would call it. i would head out to metro on weekends and watch my favorites perform. i remember the time i met eyedea. he was just about one of the most approachable people in the world. its sad to learn, that he has passed away.

its been a long time since i've pulled out my 200 plus cd book of hip hop- these are the days of ipods and shuffles and pandora- and the chance that something like this comes up, man, you have to be looking for it. and thats just the thing, this music was good for my soul, my nineteen year old soul-and how it helped me-in more ways than i can ever explain to you... but how good is this? how great was this album on early winter mornings heading to 8am class at depaul, completely stoned. don't really know exactly how he passed away, but its tragic nonetheless.... ahh, this takes me back - rest in peace, michael. 28 years old.1/2 of eyedea & abilities duo, a pivotal force in rhymesayers fam & underground hip hop, you & your talent will be missed.

i was the one worth leaving

let's talk about spaceships

love sick , they say
guess i've been there too.
you feel years of your life slip
and its a cold place when you get to the bottom of the bottle

but are you bouncing?
jumping now-from cloud to sun.
a place that doesn't hurt you anymore.

i'm feelin you

my good friend is getting hitched next weekend. i was in panic mode trying to find a dress, while designing a show with a director who has a very busy schedule, finishing grad school, etc. etc. etc.
enter, winter kate.
i absolutely love this line created by the lovely, nicole richie. goddamn, has she come a long way from her days of tramping it up with paris hilton... (who?) it just shows, how trucker hats were all the rage in 2002-03 and well, now, if you wear one, well, let's just hope you don't go there anymore...
winter kate offers a collection of velvet, chiffon & laced bohemian variety. i love flowy, majestic, bohemian, rock n roll anything...and am very tempted to wear one of her other dresses from the fall collection that i purchased. (see below) however, i seized the opportunity to scoop this hot little ticket as well. and for only $165, this dress is not breakin the bank at all. i will wear this tons, to openings, dates, and some crazy nights out on the town.




nicole modeling her own design! so cute!

ok, so now, my not so economical purchase. & just so you can see the range, and why i am so into this line, i will share with you another dress i purchased by winter kate.


it's burnt out velvet...!probably the coolest type of fabric in the world. the feel of this is butter and i adore the golds and purples that morph colors on each sway. but at $395- its not exactly a steal. however, i was willing to make a sacrifice for something truly unique. so, not really certain at this point which will be the dress for the wedding, but i'll try to post a picture or two of the wedding and my time in chicago next weekend! can't wait!!
now if only i could find a pair of shoes!

but never guess how the him would scream

back to this

oh, how i covet thee.... ELEY KISHIMOTO Iphone case for incase!!!!! !!'
gagagagaggaaaaaah droollly mcgooersons



not so much the mac case because i already own the most coolest case for my mac in the whole wide world...


designed by no other than KAWS!! BABY BABAY...for arkitip magazine- oooolala, one of my favorites!


but the iphone case is killer! dare i say , i actually really dig the pink one!

pretty sure this spells
PRESENT!

& it is true what you said that i live like a hermit in my own head

i experienced, from what i can gather,
somewhat of an epiphany this afternoon.
i've been carrying some excess baggage around with me.
don't know why-
maybe because i wanted to feel something. maybe i wanted to torture myself; stifle a part of me- almost like a scapegoat, if things didn't work as planned. if i held on to the painful past, i could always find a reason not to blame myself.
i'm sick of feeling like this- of not being in control of my own goddamn life.
if i've learned anything in this lifetime, i know that i've endured too much, worked too hard, experienced love like the movies, dream come true moments, lost the friendship & guidance of many important people in my life, to let this pain-this insignificant anger- this uncontrollable emotion get in the way - make me insecure and doubt all the beauty that this world offers. if i allow myself to wake ,even one more morning ,and not fucking kiss this earth that i should be so grateful that i stand on, i'm scared that these demons that i've carried for too long will take over my ability to make good decisions-decisions that my life & ultimate happiness depend on.
i spoke with a friend today who told me that he's content. that he realized that happiness is a fleeting feeling-but if we strive to be content, we live our life with purpose- fuck, don't let feelings control you, emotions, they come & go - whats the fucking point? i'll constantly be paddling against the current. but if only i can be content- will i win...i live life with such vigor that i never regret a single thing because unfortunately, just as your emotions are, life is fleeting------
so i have to write it here, my very public diary, so all of you, whoever you are, whoever i am, when i walk out of here, may 2011, can look back and i be held to something powerful. pinned down to a decision-and track my progress. remember these three years for everything they were & everything i want them to be, and consider this just another incredibly fortunate experience..an experience that i made happen on my own. i did this. i wanted this. so, i am going to let myself win..ME,!.... I win. I WIN AT THIS. THIS LIFETIME. not you,
ever.



If I could open my arms
And span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are
Making a lake of the East River and Hudson
If I could open my mouth
Wide enough for a marching band to march out
They would make your name sing
And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings.

I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view
If you were never aware of what was around you
And it is true what you said
That I live like a hermit in my own head
But when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

Your love is gonna drown
Your love is gonna...

farewell

why didn't she realize how beautiful she was?
i'll never understand suicide.

one good minute will last me a whole year

REST IN PEACE
L

sleep like a pillow downward

MY BLOODY VALENTINE
Loveless

an insanely good album.
if you don't possess- let me know & i'll pass it your way.
why?
because i care..
and...
i don't want you listening to crap music.. like... i dunno...linkin park, etc. etc. etc.


what i really adore about this album is the through line of a musical seascape of fleshy drums, vocals that replicate morphine and distorted chords-often the lyrics are discernible, and you know thats fine by me...i enjoy the take away.

day dreams color from shadows

i got a friend
a little guy i see with spoon
he's got so many problems
sweeping under carpets catches up with you, don't it?
and i told you, over coffee,
gonna catch you.
she will catch you, if she can.
she gonna caccccccccccccccccccc-atch you.

total recall

a tune a day



keeps the stress at bay.

who's gonna pay attention to your dreams

fuck you

the light just radiates

for my husband...

a far reaching love- beyond
death do us part.

town called malice

what's inside a girl

after spending the better half of this year in a funk.
shit, i'll tell you later.
this was my serious anthem.



i still find myself asking questions-
but i decided, i'd rather not involve myself with her flared jeans.
its a mad mad world, maybe thats to blame, maybe you are, maybe you should check yourself....
in to a mental institution, crazy, little, girl.

your sorry eyes; they cut through bones

i got all black and blue

so
how have you been?

how i need a hand to find, to feel

why are you
so far away from
me?

i need help and
you're way across the sea....

i wish

alone in kyoto

synchronicity

god!

i'm gonna make you mine

what'd you do to me

no one but myself to blame

OH

YEAH!

it's just no good anymore since she went away

let men burn stars

wasted girl

i'm back.
lots of exciting things are happening.
on a road trip back east, i heard this on some college radio station after many hours of staying awake.
it reminded me of something familiar, so i listened-
and i loved.
i want to share all my latest news, but this is just a short break to post this song that i've been meaning to post for a few weeks now. its from a compilation of John Prine songs. bon iver, my morning jacket, conor oberst, lambchop....very country.
very cool.
for a full listen of this comp!!!!!

going to the chapel

maybe tomorrow

do you ever wonder what incidents bring us to our new day?
stop and think for a moment....
imagine had you done just one single thing differently would it change your tomorrow?
like, what if i had gone home for thanksgiving break last year-spent his birthday together-
would he?.......
or do the things that we choose have no effect on others?
even if i had chosen otherwise, would it have made him....
do we have the power to alter others decisions with one quick change on our part?
who the fuck really knows.



oh, you silly thing-
can't you see what's happening
you're better without it.

If I had a photograph of you, It’s something to remind me

so wrong every time that i'm sorry i speak my mind

not doing a very good job with up keep.
don't wake me i'm dreaming on the beach.
summer breeze takes me away....

oh wake me please when this is over

do you have a vacancy for a back scrubber?

******************************************************


Call me morbid, call me pale
I've spent six years on your trail
Six full years of my life on your trail

don't think twice, its alright.

can't get my poor self together...

tell me there's nobody else in the world...

this one's for you.

now that we've learned this stuff about each other,
can we ever go back to better days?

walk on by

you made me realize

ON OUR WAY TO FALL

atomic roads, nuclear sunrise. they left me all alone.

feelings to be expressed at a later time.
in the meantime....

life is an illusion

the time we lost our way

5 day melt down.

don't want to stay alive when you're 25

a long way to nowhere

times tide will smother you

I'm standing on ice when I say that i don't hear planes

been listening to this soundtrack a lot lately. i'm sleep deprived, working on my final project. urrrrrghahahahaaa!
what a perfect soundtrack though...

what a perfect movie. i could almost dream this on myself.

i wish i could sleep.
////13////

tomorrow's just another day

15 day countdown....

see you when i do...

1996

just two dope boys:

pathfinding adventures
with
eyes sealed after school
cos' ma never even had a clue

7-eleven pitstops
atl in your system

here comes your man

one of these things first

love to be In the arms of all i'm keeping here with me

i fucking love love love love love love love
this band. wallowing pain i feel deep in my chest
i listen to them every time i want to think of you.
tomorrow..
tomorrow
tomorrow...

afraid it will fall apart

walking by myself down avenues that reek of time to kill

this video is pretty cool, if i say so....

'cause i love him

fascinated

its like real life jem dolls in all their turquoise glory.

go, go, go !

open your eyes to these must I lie?

NOW YOU SAY YOU NEED A FRIEND, BUT WE CAN’T LIVE AGAIN

i'm in the 5 week stretch. 5 more fucking weeks till i am out of this hell hole. (kinda kidding)
its not that bad. but i tell you what is..being away from everything and everyone you love.
living in another city for an extended period of time made me realize who and whats truly important to me.

i realize i am not a psychic. i do not possess any special powers that will help me along the way. i guess thats part of the problem. you have so much self doubt. being in a place by yourself, new friends, new scenery. it gives you nothing but time to reflect.

i'm in this weird stage of my life now and it completely worries me. i have anxiety attacks like a motherfucker.
deep deepp

deeeeeeep deeeep
deeeeeeepppppppppppp
deeeeeee
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeEEEeeee
eeeeeeep

BREATHS.

let it shine

classic 2000.

fingers of steel

when i was seventeen, i came across a short essay that someone had written and lost. it read....

"And when I help someone
I always help myself by helping"

and went on to form a very persuasive analysis of this quote. i carefully folded the paper and placed it in my forever box when i returned home later that night.

now, some years later, well, a lot of fucking years later, i was reminded of that essay and the quote. i searched for this wonderful, little piece of paper that i intended to keep for the rest of my years...and be reminded of what this person was really trying to say.
what do we do when we help others? we never set out to get a return, or at least, i hope that's not why you are helping people..but in some grand scheme of the universe,when we help others, some how it comes back to help us too. within the act of helping someone else and the gratitude received, you are helped and equally feel good. its like that commercial that spans across a day and watches different people being in situations where they see a person before them helping someone and then in turn they go on to help someone else.

and its taken me many years, but that quote is actually from a goldfinger song...

isn't it crazy how the smallest event in your life can somehow have so much meaning later on...

i was happy in the haze of a drunken hour

that shirt is something else.

papas been smooth since days of under roos

FIFTEEN DAYS, BABY BABAAAY...

i'll fake it through the day with some help of johnny walker red

FUCK YOU MARCH! ACTUALLY, FUCK THIS WHOLE WINTER! WORST WINTER OF MY LIFE!
sadly, i'm a march baby...
oh thats how it goes.
say bye bye....

you will be the death of me

now, this is old..yes, old and under appreciated-this is old muse...not new stuff. not that there new stuff isn't good. but this album, whoa! just check this cut and you will get it.



painting all fucking night long. craaaaaaaze! yyyyyyy. finally got them all drawn.





now thats what i call goin on 48 hours of no sleep, no shower, ha ha ha!
ahh, the joys of grad school.

pull you through to better days

so long..

see you later, march...april 15th appears closer & closer.

if you were here.. you would believe

Samantha: Thanks for getting my undies back.
Jake: Thanks for coming over.
Samantha: Thanks for coming to get me.
Jake: Happy Birthday, Samantha. Make a wish...
Samantha: It already came true.....

and i want to walk around with you

sketching costumes
inspired by summer

this seems fitting.

And when I cry for me I cry for you

remember how good this song was?

well, anyway, i do....

nineteen

buried under green comforter
dreams of you take me
leonard cohen reciting painfully,
a thousand kisses deep
underneath this mound of green representations..
that i purchased years ago
i sleep as one.
longing for your warmth beside me
down feather pillows take his place.
picture framed on bedside,
filtered green by youth...

dreams of you take me
leonard cohen
in a kiss captured polaroid
longing
in
......
envious of two thousand and four
dreams of you take me-
through one more night.

he can't remember his own name

i hate this seasonal transition between winter to spring when it rains rains rains. its like its teasing you with warm days scattered between. i need green. i need april 15th. its been too long.

p.s. why is madness the dopest ever?
the world just doesn't make things like they used to....
another thing to be pissed about.
total bum out...hurry up april 15th!!!!

its been a while since i've seen you smile

we can all die happy now.



best picture ever.

imagine me, taught by tragedy

by the small chance that you are reading this....

please understand & forgive me...


:(

moon is shining bright, you are the one I need

how do you feel at the end of the day, just like you've walked over your own grave

not i

i can think of 1001 other things i would rather be doing....

your heart beats you day at night

its like that

man, i love inland knights. had the opportunity to check them a few times...
check out girl in the window

Drop 50 Special Edition Part 1...

favorite one

in a shopping mood. well yah, "been working my butt off, now its time for some fun! gona go to the moon, gona go to the sun!" haha. those groovie ghoulies lyrics will always have a special place in my heart. in fact, they were my senior year quote in the yearbook..what a dork!
well, new digs for the man

scored on major sale @ urban
love the triangle and the inside is all dream-tastic. score!!!!
& couldn't resist this one too.

it reminds me of the vampire suit that eiko designed for bram stoker's dracula...this shirt is way too rad. its like a troll warlord. love love love it. though i have to admit this is more my style than his, well.....he'll like it anyway. ;)

out of touch

everything will turn out all right

yesterday don't matter if its done

SPRING BREAAAAK

there was nothing they could do or say to keep us two apart

take a look at what we had

going to get thru this week somehow.

this magic moment

happy march!
ready for spring..
fresh starts..
my birthday..
closer to being done with school...
california!

and we'll get to know each other for a second time

two really incredible cuts for this sunday afternoon which happens to be the last day of february 2010.

&.

my only hope

5:02 on a saturday morning and i'm wide awake
i've been thinking a lot about the way life works
looking for signs all around me
i'm trying to be better for you
and let go of the past
its harder than you think
i know i'm going through something major
that really only i know.
even if i write you a book
i don't think i could ever make you realize what i mean...
i know i have to move forward
and i'm trying to distract myself so i can stop remembering what hurts.
rest assured my dear, i feel i can let go of these fears one day.
but i can't help but think maybe you don't realize quite what you've done to me.
why can't you do right by me & make your promises mean something?


Satellites mediate for us the day's events
Through fiber optics
I hope we can change the saying
I wouldn't mind, but you are my only hope
I wouldn't mind, but you are my only hope

Clear as a bell are the short breaths
That you take when you're distracted
Same as the way that you roll your eyes
When I ask too many stupid questions

My faith in zeros and ones to host our romance
Rests on hope you gave that
I've some claim to your heart
I wouldn't mind, but you are my only hope
I wouldn't mind, but you are my only hope

Clear as a bell are the short breaths
That you take when you're distracted
Same as the way that you roll your eyes
When I ask too many stupid questions

I will call you in three weeks
Maybe then you'll have some more to say

not gonna come back no more

love this band

die for this cut...

here's lookin at you kid..

i'll be back, my love.

take my baby to sophistication

who will you dream of tonight?

i wish the tide would take me over

here we go. i leave 6:36pm tomorrow.
breathe deeply cos my heart is black & been that way for some time. how do you retrace your bad steps-when no trail is left in snow that never sticks. stop believing in anything real. i don't see us that way......

i've watched you suffer

REST IN PEACE ALEXANDER MCQUEEN
SAD DAY INDEED
THE WORLD WILL FEEL YOUR LOSS
HOPE YOU'VE FOUND YOUR PEACE

we'll go thru this thing together

& on heaven's golden shore we lay our head

dont want to get over you

thanks
on friday i set out to enact the utmost romantic gesture of my life. wish me luck....

maybe you will always be just a little out of reach

stay with me

wow.
is it really february?



25 cent play.
always.
i miss you.

every thing reminds me of her

everytime you try; quarter half the mile

can't get over you

don't stop till you get enough

this is pretty much unreal....

ata kak is some dope shit.
if anyone has a source where i can score this record on vinyl, please let me know!

for your love

killer cut
oh! and lets not forget to mention the inclusion of this song in "fear & loathing in las vegas" where hunter & dr gonzo run thru a hotel hallway...fantastic.

been trying to meet you..must be a devil between us

man, i love fleetwood mac so much. they are just out of this world good. i have my records that i listen to all the time, but love this live recording for how they break it down in the end...nothin like a jam-thats when you know its real music.

what comes is better than what came before

a warm place

going crazy

maybe tomorrow

lets pretend its summer

In Between Days video

silver leaf & snowy tears

yah..

i held her in my arms but it wasn't you

i am trying to finish these drawings before my presentation later today.
things are slow.
i'd much rather lay in bed with the covers over my head-
thinking of things i would have done different with you.

siiiiiiiigh......



this album is pretty amazing- for times like these and the like.
thank god.
whoa..when did i become such a sad bastard????
don't do it kids..don't do it.

loveless love

holy crap!!



CMRTYZ DEAD GHOSTS NEVER BEEN PAID FOR TEES: BECAUSE XEROX ART IS GOOD FOR YOU

buying now

falling down

love this song
like...L-O-V-E



in fact, this album is fantastic. came across this years & years back because the cover art...

for obvious reasons...cats! but it remains one of the darkest and ethereal gems i rock out to on a regular basis. they are totally underrated..but the significance of this band and british indie music can be noted. this song has particular meaning to me-but i say give the album a listen -maybe a few over. shoe gaze --or whatever people group all this type of music in to-can be hard at first, but its absolutely incredible stuff for early morning after all nighters-or when you are a sad bastard like me, its great all the time.
comforts of madness

misery loves company

smell you later, chicago



don't think i'll be back for some time.
you always give me hope
& then leave me hanging.

dreaming

we only want what's best for him